i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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