you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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