Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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