I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Fuck appropriateness.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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