Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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