I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
