So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
you would pick up someone in the library
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
