you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
