if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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