She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
