Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You're like the curious george of whores
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
