If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I would ride that face into the sunset
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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