i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
