Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
