I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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