my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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