I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
