Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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