Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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