the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
