shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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