just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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