how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
