On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
No subtext here. People are naked.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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