Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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