They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
