I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
