I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So vagazzling was a success
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
