are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
