I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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