Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
