I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
