You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My bed smells like the plague
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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