i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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