i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
