Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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