I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
