Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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