I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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