I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
