More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Sext me about skeletons
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
