I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
