stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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