i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
