Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
