I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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