Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
How does one acquire holy water?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
