when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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