went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
