do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
