i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
