sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
