I'm jealous of your bromance
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
