that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
