On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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