He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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