Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
